I decided that I need to move out, I really thought that I could make it the next four months living here, under the same roof as Patrick. Feeling the way I do and trying to live under the same roof without passion, desire, playfulness, and joy are wearing me down, to the point where hurt and sadness are being replaced by bitterness and anger. I don't want to hate Patrick...I don't want to resent him. But if I stay here...I will.
So, I'm looking around Santa Fe, hoping that there will be something within my budget. I've looked at Albuquerque as well, but as many people have pointed out, I have a great support system here, I have a job here and the gas alone commuting would probably equal what I would pay in rent here. I've given myself a deadline of the first, and have really been trying to find something that will work. Part of me is really excited about the prospect of my own home. But, part of me is sad too-it is hard when things don't turn out as you were expecting. Everyone has offered to help me move, which is really great because with just ZoomZoom, it would take a lot of trips. Hillary even offered the use of the Suburban, which would be nice to move stuff from Albuquerque, but unfortunately it takes $100.00 to fill the tank... Maybe I can borrow Patrick's truck...or the little green truck.
I am excited about the new bed I bought. Gemma and I went to Denver Mattress and they were having a floor model clearance. I got a queen size pillow top mattress, box spring, and frame for $600.00. It is a floor model but the great thing about this model is that it has been covered the entire time it has been on the floor! They decorated it with sheets and pillows and for some reason that causes customers to stay away from it, so hardly anyone has lain on it. This is the first bed I've bought for myself. I bought Patrick's futon, he bought my futon... So I've never had to buy my own bed until now. It is so comfortable! I'm really looking forward to sleeping on it.
The last two weeks I wasn't really able to work out or train for the 5K. Between psych, clinicals in Las Vegas, work, and Gemma's visit, there really hasn't been any time. Today, I got back into the gym and it felt soooo terrific! I biked for 4 miles, ran a mile straight (no walking), and then caused Emma a great deal of grief by making her do some serious abdominal exercises. Then we went out to the tennis courts with Nic and Max, where they proceded to "teach" us how to play the game. Personally, I suck at it. It is just not the sport for me. Although Nic kept trying to give me tips and pointers, it didn't really help. I just have no talent for tennis. But it was fun running up and down the court chasing the tennis balls. Tomorrow I think we are going to swim. At least I am going to swim. I miss being in the water.
I signed up for the basic EKG class taking place in October. After taking that I can take the 12 lead class and I'm also planning on taking the ACLS class they offer in November. I figure, I may as well take it and get certified because I will either be in emergency or critical care, no med/surg for me! In fact, I'm considering my preceptorship already! It takes place the last 4 weeks of the fourth semester and the school will try to pair you up with a nurse, but I think I have two people in mind. One is a nurse who Lois met at the trauma conference, the other is the nurse who took care of my aunt while she was in CCU. I would love to precept with Lois, as I think she is one of the most incredible nurses I have ever met, but I don't really have an interest in the OR and as one of my classmates is very interested in working with her, I would rather they have that opportunity. I have her in my life and she has been an amazing teacher every day that I have known her.
