My dad's birthday was yesterday-he would have been 57 years old. In many ways, it passed and I hardly noticed it. But each time I had to write the date, each time someone asked what the date was, I remembered. It is somewhat bittersweet. He was my father, half of who I am is who he was at the very basic, genetic level. But he was so far removed that I never really recognized him, never really felt like I had anything in common with him. I have to say that is incredibly sad to say of one's father.
I looked back through this blog to a year ago. It is amazing how much changes in such a short period of time. A year ago, my dad was alive, I was just starting nursing school, Patrick and I were together, I was also still looking for a job and trying to figure out how to make ends meet. They tell you the only guarantee in life is change. It's amazing when you can really qualify that.
I found out today that all my tests were negative. When the doctor told me, I started crying, I was so relieved. It wasn't until that moment that I could really admit that I had been terrified. I'm very lucky that I only came out of this emotionally banged and bruised and not physically.
Friends are the cement that holds the pieces of you together. Male or female, they are so important. For me, here lately, it is so good having male friends. I say that because they, unlike female friends, for the simple fact that they have a penis can cheer you up by just telling you that you are gorgeous or that they would clean up your vomit...or they actually do clean up your vomit. I value my female friends, but I treasure my male friends.
I have found a roommate. One of my classmates is looking for a place to live and as it is so much cheaper for two people to rent together than seperately this works out very nicely. So now, we are on the prowl for a place. There are plenty to choose from, we just have to have the chance to go and look at them. I think next week we will have more than ample time, which works out well because I want to be out of here no later than the first. My poor bed is sitting in the store, just waiting for me to come get it. I need to go buy some bamboo sheets for it. Oh so soft! My own bed. Amazing how that statement illicits such a feeling of joy and independence. I can't wait to sleep on it.
