I'm here and having a wonderful time. The flight was long but the company, ExpressJet, is really great. I was offered three different types of snacks, a meal (granted it was airline food but it was a meal none-the-less), and several times I was offered another drink. The flight crew were friendly and pleasant. It was, by far, one of the best flights I have been on in a long time.
Julie picked me up and we had dinner in Old Sac (the older part of downtown Sacramento) at Joe's Crab Shack. The crab was really good, which was surprising being that it is a chain. The atmosphere was fun, the staff danced to "Ain't Goin Down till the Sun Comes Up" and our server was engaging. I finally bought a "Bite Me" t-shirt and after dinner we walked around the area stopping in candy shops for free samples of salt water taffy.
Julie was anxious to hear about what has been happening with Patrick and I lately as I really didn't tell her much over email.
I am trying to be optimistic when it comes to us. He was, after all the one who said he wanted us to work at our relationship. That 10 years together are worth the effort. There are moments, usually brief ones but moments, when I see Patrick. The man who is kind, gentle, affectionate and passionate. I don't know where that man went, but seeing those glimpses of the man I love are what gives me hope and determination that we can get past this.
Julie was, for once, speechless. Which is an accompishment. She didn't really know what to say, only that she hates seeing me so sad and that he should take the stick out of his ass. She has been great about allowing me to work through this without giving me anger-induced advice. My sister told me to get the hell out. To run hard and fast because no man is worth this. Julie listens, hugs me and offers copious amounts of chocolate, and then we laugh.
If nothing else, this trip has been good for me in that it will allow me some distance and will (hopefully) allow some perspective as well. Both Julie and Andrew have been amazing. They have the type of relationship I envisioned Patrick and I would have once we had our own home. Each with their own space and jobs, but when they are together they are truly together-enjoying eachother's company and companionship. They are happy and it is brilliant to see. Best of all, they laugh and it is infectious. Which more than anything, I desperately need. I love to laugh and I have done so little of it lately.
Today I will hang around the house and watch movies or read. Tomorrow I'll go in with her and tour the city and troll for shoes. We are going to try for SF on Thursday, providing Julie doesn't get called in. Friday I leave, but not before stopping for a wine tasting. Julie says that the Zinfandel they have at this winery is terrific and the wine tasting is FREE!
